I can't sleep... He is still young... i am saying my brother... He is still young!!! I know that boys are much more 慢熟 than gals. Yea, i knew that!!! but... He is younger than i could imagine... can't believe... And HE IS REALLY HURTING MY HEART... Did he love me, as a sister? How could he spends more time on the 'mousehunt' game instead of me? I even think that, when he got free time, he will spend it on his game instead of my blog!!! He will never read my blog!!! He never thought of want to know more about my life? Am i just a no.1 stranger to him? Am i having too high expectation on him? that's why i got such this disappointment?*tease on myself*
A game, what will you think of a game... is simple, win or lose. Ok, i accept, but is that win or lose is much more important than the process? What you learnt during the process? so that at least you get something when the game end? no matter if you are losing or winning, you learnt from there. Why you so care about win or lose? Why we wanna compare with others instead of ourselves?
Little boy, you said that, when you put more time in real world and money, dun forget God o!
Yea, i totally agree with that. Just, we didn't view to the same point here. I did thought of that in the past. Same words which keep appear in my mind and this make me hide and hide, hide from the world, so that i won't forget God!!! is that true? is that what God want us to do? NO. He want us to face it!! There is no use that we hide. It is the challenge God gave us in this world and i believe that only can with the leading of God we can overcome it. We shall go through these obstacles with Him. NOT HIDE THERE ALONE!!!
God, please give him wisdom... to think deeper and farer. Give me wisdom on how to say things with him. Sorry that... i am losing my patient today when i chat with him in msn after the last time we met. I do miss him.
Well, after i look back our conversation... yea... i am too fierce... i didn't hear patiently what he wanna say and he is sick now... i did misunderstand some of his words... i am mad because of tiny things...sorry... i am just suddenly felt angry or can say 苦恼？ He dun view the same point with me as what also do in the past? or because he dun care about me, as his sister? suddenly doubt that if he really like a sister like me... am i not a good sister? T.T
He is a good brother, i did admire him as he is the eldest and he bear burdens more than i could imagine. But, why? why boys always so slow just be mature in mentality? Because the life is too easy? yea, the path to mature is toughness. I didn't wish that he face too much toughness but... got any others way? Show me the other way please!!!
Yea, i am now stuck in Amway and AIA... I am facing the world now... well, not totally. I am seeking help from people around me... I still need more time and courage... Maybe he need some time as well...
Yea, i am not thinking of the consequence if my brother read this... IF HE DID!! I did hope he read my blog... well, i am willing to share my life with him sincerely... I did hope that he could gave me some advise as he is know much more than me? as he will support me? or even object me? shows me the correct way? coz i trust him.
For anyone who interested to my blog, yea, you are welcome~ :) I am too shy to invite or to promote my blog as this is my life~ what is deep inside myself...
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